8/17/08: La Peña Cultural Center, Berkeley
From email:
"I've spent many years intellectualizing and talking about sexism, patriarchy, homophobia and male violence, but rarely have I felt these issues in as visceral a way as I did tonight at the Men's Story Project. I was very touched by the courage of each of the men to be so vulnerable to an audience of almost complete strangers, tackle their most profound and personal subjects as men in front of others. While the Q & A portion of the event began to slip into a narrow critique of what was missing or not enough (we'll always miss something, leave someone out, it's an endless journey), I want to acknowledge that this evening's event was a big step toward us, as a community of human beings, becoming more whole. I hope that the feedback given this evening does not take away from the magnitude of what occurred – 16 men rising against a life-long training of silence and intimidation to open themselves, and hence the struggles of our society, at the absolute deepest levels for healing and transformation. I, personally, was very aware of the fact that these men were not obligated to be on that stage, and that those who bore witness to their stories were given a profound gift and honor that should not be taken for granted. I want to make sure that these men know that many of us present tonight will remember and celebrate these actions and stories for the rest of our lives."
"…Their collective expression of vulnerability, passion for change, truth, self-awareness, self-acceptance, humor, pain, and love - inward and outward was unparalleled. I have never heard many of these stories before, and i could write about how each and every one of them moved me. the range of emotions that i experienced throughout the show was truly a gift I couldn't have imagined receiving. yes, it is true that we do live in a patriarchial society, that men experience privilege in ways that i never will. but there are also burdens in the dominant paradigm's notions of masculinity. to witness the veil being lifted was powerful….When we are at our most vulnerable moment, it is actually our moment of greatest strength. …i hope this evening was as rewarding for them as it was for all of us."
"…That was so extremely powerful for me. And if you know anything about French people, you know we don't say things like that easily. You caught me off guard with how potent that was. I felt deeply moved in tears and laughter, quaking through my body, but also impacted and altered enough to want to propel me into more action in my life and that of those around me to bring about shifts in consciousness. I am so proud of you and am also inspired by the men and what you all undertook together. I have no doubt this will be an extremely successful project throughout the globe. Thank you for your beautiful heart and your manifestation wizardry…"
"This was a masterpiece - it was a night of love, healing, warmth - more beautiful than words can describe."
"What an incredible night. i am so impressed with your ability to pull together a truly groundbreaking event, focusing on issues that so rarely are discussed, even in feminist circles. self perpetuating sexism between men is such a pervasive yet often overlooked topic, and it's amazing to see how diverse, moving, and universal the stories were. such courage from the speakers, and such courage from you to throw your wonderful energy toward this project! the uplifting momentum of the room more than made up for sitting on the floor. laudations on a packed house!!!"
"I was very impressed with what an amazing project you've put together. I haven't had a night like that in a long time. Especially not in theater, I'm a regular theater goer and it’s been a while since I've seen such an honest, raw and dynamic performance. I was moved the whole night. The audience's energy was intense. I had a blast. What a great experience. I'm bringing friends to the next one."
From forms: "What did you appreciate or find effective about tonight's presentation?"
"The diversity of perspectives, voices, and deliveries made it so that everyone in the audience could find elements to identify with. I honestly both laughed and cried. That's awesome!"
"The focus & vulnerability/honesty about emotions and masculinity. I loved the perspectives of healing and experiences as they explored their male role models/influences. Demonstrates huge introspection. Loved it!"
"Each presentation was extremely rich and powerful. Clearly the show was very well-prepared and rehearsed yet maintained a feeling of truth, openness and genuine magic. Thanks!" "Thank you for sharing so much"
"It was beautiful, thank you. Well done. People spoke from where they were - no 'shoulds'"
"The diversity, the authenticity, the power of their stories" "Great as is" "I appreciated the realness of it. I saw and felt my own inability to be HERE as a human being as himself. A big NO came up for me. This was valuable and opening. I also learned a lot from the people in the show sharing themselves so freely. Thank you." "I loved the diversity of men - their stories, ages, class (?), races, sexualities, etc. It was very important to have." "So powerful - the pacing - so real, imperfectly perfect, so moving. The relationship of the personal to the political, societal. Appreciated the men talking about violence, the cycle, the self-hatred. Kenny Johnson - oh my god. The poets. Galen's capacity to love himself & other men who have committed violence." "1. LEROY MOORE 2. The 'real talk' or authentic conversations being conveyed" "Honesty, diversity of styles, stories; effort to be open, witnessed and loved by audience was very powerful." "Josie's powerful, poignant, personalized introduction. The diversity between and within each beautiful man presenting their experience. The support, love and hugs given & shared between performers while on stage (including everyone introducing the next person)." "1. The multi-generational, multi-cultural, multi-socioeconomic mix of men. 2. The 'rawness' of presentation 3. The fact that a woman produced it" "Powerful pieces about personal issues. Stories were honest. Well-organized." "The variety - range, scope, authenticness - y'all are beautiful!" "The candor and the clarity - this is a tough cluster of issues to discuss without bringing in a number of other topics that are raised that would otherwise overshadow this unexplored area."
10/15/08: UC-San Francisco
From email:
"In this one evening my eyes, mind and heart was opened up to more possibility and humanity than any 6 months in my Men's group. This is a fantastic experience for any group that is learning together."
"Thank you… for making us aware of this amazing performance and Bay Area resource. I can’t remember a more memorable and meaningful performance. Those men broke my heart and put it back together again with hope and love. Just amazing."
"I went to the Men's Story project at UCSF. It blew my mind! It was so amazing. Keep doing them, we need to recruit more people to come. Perhaps you could even have other people "host" them at different venues around the city like at the women's building. Then those people would be responsible for inviting a ton of new people. just an idea. anyway it was INCREDIBLE -- you have put together such an amazing thing!"
From forms: "What did you appreciate or find effective about tonight's presentation?"
"Everything. Seriously. Hope, Courage, Wisdom, Honesty. EXAMPLE."
"Educating and entertaining"
"I loved everyone that got up in front of the crowd we had to tell their story. It really moved me."
"-The honesty, the lack of censorship"
"Diversity of ages/ethnicities/orientations/subject matter"
"The comic with the tragic"
"Take it on the road - schools, churches, hospitals, etc."
"Men are good, the socialization of men is bad..."
"Until we start listening and validating each other's pain, the cycle of violence will never end..."
"Beautiful. Touching."
"Incredible"
"I never realized how touched I would have been hearing the voices. But the poem to my dad, the last one, really touched me; brought me close to tears. I will tell all my friends; this was wonderful. I am so glad I gave up "Project Runway" for this!"
From forms: "What could make it stronger in the future?"
"Any thoughts of performing at local high schools?!! I used to work at Mission High & JOC HS & was always trying to organize a major event for young men addressing these major life issues - this was so amazing -- it would be incredible to do it for all high school youth, all people!!!! Thank you!! :) "
"Clearer audio --> a little distortion
"Next steps for the audience - i.e., list of organizations working to end gender oppression..."
"DVD with study guide for educational purposes"
"I think it would be even more better if women could be involved so people could see both sides."
"I don't know; I loved it as is."
"To have America watch this instead of the debate."
4/25 & 26/09: UC-Berkeley
From emails:
"…I didn't even tell my friends about it 'cause I didn't know about it much but now I'd spread the word far and wide... It's got such a wide appeal, is so powerful, eye-opening and enlivening, makes people feel connected, breaks down barriers and gives men a different kind of voice -- one where they can express their true selves free from traditional expectations of maleness. The variety of experiences is amazing, yet we all share a common thread. Seeing stories of violence share the stage with homosexual and even women's identities, to see how they are related, how what men do and feel in society is intrinsically related to how we all feel, is monumental. Women have done this since the 70's -- it's time for men to be able to publicly express their humanity - for everyone's healing. It enriches our society to have something like this happening. And, it's about time. (It's surprising how many men have experienced extreme violence in their lives.)"
"it was SO awesome. it felt totally real, authentic, gripping, valuable and new. you've got a great crew there, but i can imagine it easily replicating, with equally (yet different!) great groups putting it on all over the damn place. i'm super-impressed with what you've done. inspired idea, brilliantly executed. really powerful to witness. yeah...bravo!"
From forms: "What did you appreciate or find effective about the presentation?"
"The courage it takes to not only reflect on, but to share stories that confront such taboo issues is very, very inspiring – and I will honor this bravery by engaging in this work with my students, friends, and future children. Thanks!!!"
"Seriously, everything. What a remarkable evening. This felt like church to me. Honest, raw, hopeful, healing. Thanks for letting me be a witness."
"Authentic & life-changing! I saw, I listened, I laughed, I cried. Thank you." J
"Excellent, excellent program. Every voice is so authentic! It was amazing to get past each person’s façade/separateness as a person and fully relate to them, even if we have very different life experiences. Well-produced. Very powerful! Go on tour! Perfect time for this movement to take seed."
"Diversity of stories and range of issues raised. I laughed, cried & rethought my own prejudices… it was life altering."
"These are real stories, not scripts."
"The genuine, well thought-out, risk-taking stories – it humanized men for me."
"Incredibly powerful dynamic of experiences. Their experiences were so genuine and representative of a different venue of masculinity and LIFE. The beauty, respect for others, healing, earnesty – a profoundly memorable experience in my life. Thank you."
"Most courageous storytelling I’ve experienced. Beautiful. Thank you! Moved to tears & laughter."
"Everything! Vulnerability is amazing!"
"It was amazing to hear such a diverse range of perspectives on masculinity. As a woman I feel like I have gained a much better understanding of what it means to be a man in society."
"Where to start? It was amazing. The openness, trust and authenticity exhibited by each of the men was so beautiful and profoundly moving. The gifted men opened themselves so wholly that each performance was affecting, arresting and transformative."
"I loved it! It was moving & real & funny at times. Thanks!"
"I appreciated the openness at the end where men shared their experiences of writing their pieces – where the real healing for them took place."
"The honesty of each guest speaker"
"Great multi-media presentation! Well-constructed, moved along well. Nice Q & A/dialogue session."
"The honesty of so many of the men, being able to be vulnerable"
"The discussion at the end"
"The unintimidating environment"
"Diversity of the group of men in age, gender, sex, race, etc."
"I loved it. It was very moving. I appreciated the honesty, creativity and diversity of style of all of the presenters. I appreciate the opportunity to share and witness their experiences."
"I appreciated the diversity and number (volume) of the stories. Having ~16 storytellers allowed for a rich, deep, varied experience of men’s lives."
"I appreciated the honesty and vulnerability that was shared tonight. I found it very healing and beautiful.
"I really loved when the men all stood together at the end and there was so much warmth and sweetness in this space – coming from the men and from the audience."
"The nonverbal story J"
"The wide diversity of stories"
"the minimal involvement of egoism & self-indulgence"
"the human, relatable aspects of each story"
"all the organizers, performers, techies, audience members.. and everyone else behind the scenes who made this experience happen – thank you! J"
"Everything!! The honesty and emotions felt real and inspiring. The variety & diversity was amazing."
"I appreciated the wide variety of stories & diversity of presenters. The space was great & the lighting made it seems like a conversation rather than a show."
"The diversity of the men sharing, and the different platforms of sharing – poetry, dance, etc."
"The diversity of the emotions. I’m inspired!"
"I feel incredibly blessed to have been a part of this project, hearing stories seldom told. I was deeply moved. Men unite!"
"The honesty of the presenters as well as how they talked about changing the negative aspects of their life and creating a more positive outlook. It was very inspiring."
"The safe space that the men created for one another on stage (hugs, introduction, respect)
"-dance!"
"This felt like an informal, comfortable gathering – not an official theatre, more intimate. That helped me to relate to the pieces."
"The diversity of stories & experiences."
"Diversity of voices & experiences"
"It was incredibly healing & moving"
"As a woman, I learned so much about men by watching/listening/being a part of this."
From forms: "What could make it stronger in the future?"
"I would love to have heard from each presenter at the end in the discussion period how or why they chose to be involved. Some answered, but I would have loved to hear from those not initially inclined to speak."
"Nothing – only exception was some microphone difficulty in the beginning but it got resolved quickly."
"Just keep it real! This fills a real need…it will grow organically."
"MORE STORIES!!"
"Only that more wonderful men perform, because each piece was so, so good."
"More practice. PS – This needs to be as well-known as the Vagina Monologues – it teaches just as much."
"MORE OF IT! Especially on campus, it was so easy to get to which made me more compelled to go. Lots of students don’t have cars & accessibility is so important."
"Uhhh… it was pretty perfect! Maybe coffeeshop style coffee" J
"More theme-based"
"More stories that address the complicatedness of intersecting & intermeshed oppressions (i.e. patriarchy; structural & cultural racism; capitalism; heterosexism, etc). Participants & issues that break out of/move beyond the black-white binary (& other binaries), in a non-tokenizing way. More statistics, history & narrative focusing on continued patriarchy, men’s culpability & complicity, and real efforts to resist & overcome & destroy patriarchy & other systems of oppression -- aligning its purpose with that."
"Spotlighted on performers and dark in the audience. It was difficult to emotionally connect when it was so bright in there. Maybe use one person to introduce the performers like a narrator."
"I can’t really think of anything, maybe more ethnic diversity."
"Definitely start a Decal class – it would be really interesting to hear the stories of my fellow students!"
"Dance! Using more elements of physical expression would help make the project by helping us reflect on another level & bring the element of physicality as part of being human into the mediums of expression."
"More young people – teens."
"Have each presenter talk a little about their experience in the project (or reason for stepping into it)"
"More stories"
"More publicity, bigger audience"
"More diversity, sound equipment (hard to hear sometimes – microphone)"
"Better lighting and sound quality"
"I found the conversational/monologue pieces most powerful, especially by men who are not traditionally performers. More of these would be nice (1 or 2 more). I wanted to hear a few words from the dancers afterwards."
"It would be interesting to hear the processes that lead these men up to sharing their stories. During the Q &A after the performance, some stories were shared, but only at the prompting of an audience member. I’d love to see this turn into an annual event, just as the Vagina Monologues has its annual ‘V-Day.’"
"The sound was sometimes harsh & feedback-y – maybe more practice on the performers’ part w/ using the mike properly would be good. I couldn’t always catch the names of the performers being introduced."
"Allow each person to say a little about self. Programs with pictures and intro to the mission statement of the project."
"Nothing – it’s perfect as is. Just make sure every performance has good PR (not just campus but in community too) – all the weekly and daily newspapers, calendars, radio, etc. It should get huge audiences."
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